Last spring, Mari went through a dramatic break-up and decided she needed to get out of town for a while to get some mental space and perspective. I thought for sure she’d be in Boulder, CO, for a couple weeks, get mind-numbingly bored, and come running back to NYC. But no! She loves Boulder, has taken up hiking, met some fun, creative people, and says she’s never felt physically or mentally healthier.

She was recently back in NYC for a month-long visit, and found that while she was here, her life spiraled into a sort of manic existence. Due to social engagements and creative endeavors, she wasn’t getting her freelance work done, couldn’t focus, and had too much going on to sleep or eat healthfully. Friends even told her they were worried about her. During this time is when she responded to my interview questions below, with quick, list-like responses–not at all her usual writing style.

I recently spoke with her after she had returned to Boulder; I was surprised to hear her say that she’s starting to feel like NYC is “toxic” for her. It made the city sound almost like a drug; something about her personality likes it so much that she can’t say no to any of it, and her life totally loses balance.

I find it fascinating how the stimulation of New York affects different personality types. Just the other day I was talking to my little sister who is studying abroad in London for a couple months. Her energy-level is similar to Mari’s, but she has never lived in a big city before. She LOVES London, and thinks that in a large city, she won’t have to work so hard to create projects/distractions for herself; just being in the city is enough. But I wonder if she were really to live there, if she would find herself in a situation like Mari’s, where she couldn’t “say no” and would find herself overwhelmed with social, creative, and work responsibilities.

Anyway, without further ado, the first Leaving NYC interview…

1. Where are you from originally and how long did you live in NYC?

Originally from Rochester. Lived in NYC from 1999 to 2008.

2. Why did you decide to leave NYC and where did you move?

I broke up with my girlfriend, and moved out of our shared apartment. I went to Boulder, CO, originally planning to house-sit for a friend’s parents for one month to take a “break.” Then it became 2 months, then 3, then I realized I’d moved out of NYC.

3. What do you miss about NYC?

The stimulation; the grunge-dirty-hyperness; the urbanness; the fact that you can go see a modern dance performance for $10 that will be life-changingly beautiful; the fact that everyone comes through here/it’s a nexus; my friends.

4. What don’t you miss about NYC?

The dirt, the crowdedness, the absence of mental space, the absence of nature, the pressure, the commuting, the feeling of insularity, the expense.

5. What do you like most/least about your new home?

Most: the return to nature, the pace, the ease, the health, the friendliness, the chilled-outness, the space to think, to create. Least: the college-town-ness of it, i.e. it can feel too insular.

6. How often do you visit NYC and what do you do here when you visit?

I’m pretty recently relocated. I left NYC in March, and have come back to visit in September.  Here I’ve visited friends and gone to bars and performances.

7. What surprised you most about leaving NYC?

That there is life outside of NYC.  That you can be really happy and creative elsewhere.